Even though I never had him to start with…


Posted in Everything | Leave a comment

Give Me A Sign

Give me sign that there still is the old you.

Give me a sign that you are good.

Give me a sign that you aren’t all bad.

Give me a sign, anything….. please!


I know I said not a lot more personal stuff on here, or at least less but tonight is just not good for some reason. The not thinking about him is not working

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment


So I still need to write something on the book that I finished like two weeks ago or something like that and I just finished another book this morning. I read two books in like a month and a half, even though my classes end this Friday, that’s less than three days and I’ve started on another book. So that means I have four books on my shelf that I need to write about and no time… fun.

I start working tomorrow again, this week it’s only going to be tomorrow for a few hours, that I know of. Hopefully tomorrow I’m in a better mood.

It’s not that I’m in a bad mood, but I’m just not in a good mood.

I’m in a funk and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I also said I decided to not like Kyle anymore, I said I wasn’t going to let myself and yet I found myself thinking about him as I fell asleep last night and all day today. No matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about him.

I need to start doing a crap load of school, get out of this funk, write about those four books, stop thinking about him, and get my crap together. Wish me luck.

Oh and I need to come up with some money to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding.

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment

Turn around

Yay! I think life has taken a turn for the better. For some reasons I think could it have gotten any worse but now that I’m looking back and I’m not as in the middle of it all there could have been a lot more bad things that happened.

Thank you Jesus for turning my life around and answering my prayers. I know you put me through what you have and what you will to make me stronger and possibly help others in the future. Amen

Ok so good news for me. I talked to my mom again, usually a mistake and I regret it for days but not this time. I talked to my mom about dropping one of my classes, I didn’t want to but I had to. I went from having two at the most at one point to having four, her requests to the school. Now I’m not as stressed about that and my dad is waking me up super early tomorrow so that I can get more done in life and not sleep in.

In other good news, I’m getting my job back probably next week sometime. It will be different and less hours because the husband got a promotion but it’s still better than nothing.

My sister and my brother are not moving out so there will be someone in this house to talk to every-now-and-again. I was going to get my sister’s room when she moved out but since she’s not I thought I was going to be stuck in this small room with another person for another year. Nope! She decided that once my mom cleans up the office/loft she will move into one half and I can get settled in my new room. That means painting my room which I’ve been looking forward to, getting a new and pretty bed, and decorating my own room. The last time I had my own room I was in third grade and it was for exactly one month and that was part of one of my birthday presents.

I’m in a good mood partly because everyone else is in bed and partly because this weekend is going to be awesome if goes to plan. Saturday I get to hang out with the most amazing person ever, haven’t really ever sat down and talked to her but she wants to know whats been going on and why I haven’t been social at church so we will probably talk about that. Later that day I get to meet one of my cousins at his concert, ya he’s a musician, be jealous. Sunday I get to help in k-5 and to finish it off my dad gets paid tomorrow and him paying me back for picking up the tab on drinks a few nights ago at Denny’s he’s taking me to my favorite mexican food place and then possibly to the store to get some fresh fruit that I’ve been wanting for a week now.

Good night, getting up to soon.

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment


So lately, even though I’ve had a ton of school nonstop even throughout the summer, I have been reading a lot of books! I started out by reading my brothers girlfriends books and then I started buying my own. I’ve now decided that instead of complaining so much on here about how much my life sucks I will even it out with what books I’m reading and how much I love them.

Oh and I will accept donations in book form because 1) my parents won’t buy me books(even at the half price book store) 2)I’ve been out of work for more than two months now, with a couple babysitting jobs on the side, so I have no money 3) the half price book store, and any other book store just happens to be more than 30 miles away from my house 4) I’ve been getting books on and they are getting pretty expensive.

I’ll write about the book I just finished later, right now my mom is about to check on me and I better be doing school or I’m going to get it.

Have a great night all! I know I will; in my room, doing school, and admiring my doggies.

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment


Listening to music while doing school and this comes on. I’ve always loved this song.

So much has happened, not enough time to explain. School time, classes end in two weeks.

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment

Busy days are over

Wednesday I decided not to go to youth group and make cupcakes instead. I made chocolate chile cupcakes and after I thought youth group was over I went to my youth directors house to give him and his wife one but there were still people there asking”Why didn’t you come?” Anyways after that I came back home to get some stuff to go shopping and to take over some more cupcakes to my boss’s house but instead of leaving right away my dad wanted to kill some scorpions. We went to my boss’s house and dropped off cupcakes and then went to walmart.

Thursday my dad had the day off of work so we pretty much just tried to hang out and be lazy even though I’m behind on school. My sister got really nasty with my dad so when her and my mom left to do something he decided to put the couch that was in our loft in her bedroom since she wants it for when she moves out so now she’s pissed at me and my dad because there’s no walk room in her bedroom. After a lot of fighting and tension in the house it was time for me to go babysit. I was only supposed to babysit two kids but it ended up being five kids and my little brother came with me because my parents don’t want him home alone; so I was really taking care of a two-year old, a three-year old, a five-year old, a six-year-old, an eight year old, and an almost thirteen year old. Not only did I take care of all these kids but the parents decided to go to a pub after their meeting. Instead of them getting home at 10:30 at the latest they got home at 12:30 on a school night. And do you think they would be somewhat quiet when they got home because everyone except for me was sleeping? Nope, they were loud and woke up only two of the kids surprisingly. I ended up getting home at almost 1:30 because my parents went to the meeting and the pub so they were my ride home and my mom wanted to talk after getting back to the house even though my dad had to get up at 5:30 for a 10 hour day at work, he didn’t even want to go to the pub but had to because they all carpooled.

Friday my mom didn’t wake me up till really late and then complained and yelled at me because I didn’t do any school, I took care of six kids the night before for more than six hours I’m going to be tired and want some sleep. Anyways, I got up and took a shower then went to the bank and did some shopping for food and then left for the baseball game. At the baseball game a kid from the youth group was there with his girlfriend and they were the only ones my age so I was alone for a little bit but then my friend Kyle(not the one my age that’s a total jerk, he’s in like fourth grade and is the other kids little brother) came and hung out with me, he’s so sweet. I hope he holds onto that sweetness when he becomes a teenager because there has to be one guy who doesn’t turn into a total jerk. Anyways we hung out for more than half the game and then when the fireworks show came on we sat next to each other and he hugged me like five times and then when Toby Mac came out for the concert he asked if he could sit next to me again and his mom said ya so we were buddies the whole time and it was nice to be with someone nice. We got home pretty late and I was super tired from the night before and that night and the car ride home was an hour so it was all just so tiring.

This morning my mom thought it would be fun to wake me up early so I can do school. When I said I’m really tired, it’s Saturday, can I please just have some more sleep? She said no and said she got the same amount of sleep as I did so I’m just going to have to suck it up; guess what she’s doing right now. Yep, she’s taking a nap, and I’m not allowed to.

Tomorrow is Sunday which means I get to wake up early and take care of kids then go to high school and then I get to leave high school early and go take care of five kids while someone else goes to a baseball game.

I’m so tired. Can I just sleep?

Posted in Everything | Leave a comment