So sad…

So lately I’ve just been in this funk and it seems like whenever I start to type something it’s just depressing and sad and I end up complaining and rambling on and on and telling pointless stories about how much life sucks. This time I actually have a reason to ramble and write something depressing.

1) My parents, married for almost 21 years I believe got in the biggest fight ever today. Lately I’ve thought a lot about how much my dad puts up with my mom because he is an easy target, just like me, so she takes everything out on him when he gets home from a 10 hour day at work and a two-hour round-trip drive. I’ve been thinking of how much crap she throws at him and how much of an attitude she gives him that is totally undeserved. Today he told her exactly how he felt after she said one last smart remark.

Today was a normal Sunday to start with. Went to church and then my dad came home early to watch the football game(Steelers all the way!). After the game he decided to do a nice thing and clean the carpets so that she would have clean carpets when her bible study group comes over to our house tomorrow night, nice husband right? Not in her eyes, in her eyes he is doing everything wrong. But do you think she would say something like “Let me help you.”? Nope she makes so many smart remarks and even gets mad at him for cleaning part of the carpet “to soon” which doesn’t make sense. He finally had enough and told her off, I walked down the stairs for the last little bit. All I heard was “There was one person in this world that I could run to when no one else was there, my best friend. One person I could confide in any time of the day, and now she is gone. I have lost my best friend.” He says this all while she is crying, partly trying to make him feel bad and horrible and say sorry and partly because she is actually sad at what he is saying.

For a while now I have been thinking about what would happen if he finally gets enough and they get a divorce. I’m only 15, that means that I would have to pick. That also means that I would have to move back and forth and visit. I have friends who have parents who are divorced and it sucks.

2) Not as important or even surprising, not matter how many times I tell myself that I will stop liking him I can’t. He’s here and I’m afraid he will never leave. Update on him, he went to homecoming with a girl, not his ex-girlfriend. They looked really cute together. His Facebook status says his still single. And he won’t reply to any Facebook messages.

I think it might help me if I unfriend him on Facebook. That way I can’t keep looking. This is from a blog that I follow, made me think of him.

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